The Good Man in the Storm

What's really in a name? We define ourselves by our names, but sometimes their meanings can be unclear. The name chosen for us is important; it put a load on our backs, gives us something to look up to. Dr. Arizona Robbins of ABC's Grey's Anatomy is a prime example. Upon meeting with her girlfriend's father, she tells him, "Most people think I was named for the state, but it's not true. I was name for a battle ship- the U.S.S. Arizona. My grandfather was serving on the Arizona when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, and he saved 19 men before he drowned. Pretty much everything my father did his whole life was about honoring that sacrifice. I was raised to be a good man in the storm- raised to love my country; to love my family; to protect the tings I love. When my father, Colonel Daniel Robbins, the United State Marine Corp, heard that I was a lesbian, he said he had only one question. I was prepared for, 'How fast can you get the hell out of my house?' But instead, it was, 'Are you still who I raised you to be?' My father believed in country the way that you believe in God. And my father is not a man who bends, but he bent for me because I'm his daughter. I'm a good man in a storm. I love your daughter, and I protect the things that I love. Not that I need to- she doesn't need it. She's strong, caring, and honorable. She's who you raised her to be." The people we choose to be are not necessarily the people we'd always imagined we would be. From the minute a person is born, the dreams begin, and they are given a name; a name that means something. The word itself can have a meaning, like Hope or Faith. The name can have a specific meaning, as well. for example, Emily, one of the most common names in today's world, means 'admiring,' and Michael means 'who is like God?' these meanings express what's expected of us in the future; what our parents see in us, and how they wish the world to see us. We can also be names for a person- someone we're expected to live up to.
The truth is that we are not define by our names, or at least the meaning they bring. We define ourselves. Our names have no bearing on who we're raised to be, but they help. Arizona was named for they very ship that made her grandfather a hero, a good man in the storm. Her name gave her a model of values to follow, and that's what names are for. They represent a system of values that we're raised to posses. So the question is not, "what is you name," the question is, "who are you," because, well, with one question, you get one word. With the other, you find a meaning.

Rock Bottom

At some point in our lives, we’ve all wanted something, whether it be something we want, something we need, or something we think we need, but really don’t. But for whatever reason, that thing we want is unattainable. So you find yourself exploring every possible way of getting it, because you absolutely have to have it. When you hit rock bottom, it’s called desperation. You’ve decided that you need this so much that you’re willing to do anything for it. In the Grey’s Anatomy episode “Tainted Obligation,” Lexie, Thatcher, Cristina, Callie, and Izzie all experience this. Callie is so desperate to stay in Seattle that she begs the Chief for her job back, even when she doesn’t want to sink that low. Izzie is so desperate to see her patient live that she talks Owen into performing surgery with a very low survival rate. Cristina is so desperate to get back into the O.R. that Owen asks her, “Are you whoring yourself out for surgeries,” to which Cristina replies, “Oh, shut up. You forced me into it!” Thatcher experienced a different kind of desperation- addiction. The Chief had also experienced the painful desperation of alcoholism, and explains it to him. “You woke up every morning, and you promised yourself that last night would be your last drink. And you made it, till 9am or noon, some days till cocktail hour. And you were so pleased with yourself, that you rewarded yourself with a drink. You convinced yourself again, that it would be the only one. You have a disease, Thatcher. When you're in it, you can't stop. You can't undo what you did.” This kind of desperation can affect everyone around us, and it affects our health. Thatcher made himself sick; he brought his end-stage liver failure upon himself. So when he needed a transplant, and Lexie couldn’t give it to him, she became desperate. She went farther than she ever wanted to, and she asked Meredith for the transplant. “I didn't wanna do this. I didn't wanna have to come to you for anything, ever. So I thought if I looked up your blood type, and it was the wrong one, then that would be it. Then I could just stop thinking about it. But I can't, because you have his blood. And I know that he's not your dad, I know that he was never there for you. And, I would never ask you to give him anything. He doesn't deserve a thing from you. He doesn't. But he's- he's gonna die, Meredith. And, so I'm asking you to give something to me. I'm asking- I am asking you to give me my dad, because, as crappy as he was to you, he was wonderful to me. He never missed a single dance recital. He was there at my fifth grade graduation. What is that? It's not even real. I know he's not your dad, I, I know that. But somehow, you have his blood, and I don't. So I'm asking you, give me my dad.” For Lexie, she thought that was rock bottom, but it wasn’t. Later in the episode, she asks Dr. Bailey to lie to transplant service and tell them that Thatcher had been sober a year, so that he could get his liver transplant. This was rock bottom; this was asking someone to do something illegal. Unfortunately, at some point in our lives, we will all have experienced desperation to some degree. Hitting rock bottom isn’t the worst thing in the world, unless you don’t know how to come out it. The best we can hope for is that we somehow get what we need, so that we don’t become desperate. We should search every place and explore every option to get what we need, but be careful of rock bottom- it’s a dark place.

Paranoia

In these difficult times, many of us have become paranoid. It’s the truth. You see people becoming workaholics just so that they can keep their jobs, high school seniors going crazy with college applications, high school juniors going crazy over SATs so they can get into a good college, high school students of all ages agonizing over AP classes, etc. No one stops for a minute just to enjoy life, the way they’re supposed to. Everyone watches their own back, because they can't trust anyone else to do it for them. That’s paranoia. In the Grey’s Anatomy episode “I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me,” the residents at Seattle Grace have the same problem. They’ve been presented with a merger of Seattle Grace and Mercy West, and they know cuts will be made. Everyone is on their toes, just like the rest of us. Everyone races to the finish line, and those who they call their friends have suddenly become the competition. I’d say that’s pretty much like the real world. Those who are nervous about their jobs are doing all they can to keep them, and have to compete against their co-workers for the few positions available, and high school students compete against one another to get into a good college. But when our futures are on the line, we tend to disregard what we know is best for ourselves, suck it up, and continue working. For example, Izzie returned to work early after just being released from the hospital as a cancer patient. She stood in the O.R. for five hours, and took her medicine during the surgery. Derek offered to allow her to scrub out while they closed up the patient, but Izzie refused. She was dripping with sweat, and looked exhausted, but she refused to leave. “Ok, you know what, just take my wig off. Just take it off. Take it off. Oh, god, just pat down my head. Ok, alright, just put the cap back on. Thank you. I'm fine.” This is just the beginning; once we start cutting out what we really need, we’ll keep doing it, until we crash. I’ve done it, many people I know have done it, but once we stop giving into our paranoia, it’s the best feeling. We get rid of it, and wake up smiling. We’ve completed our task; it’s finally over. We can breathe. “We're all susceptible to it, the dread and anxiety of not knowing what's coming. It's pointless in the end, because all the worrying and the making of plans for things that could or could not happen, it only makes things worse. So walk your dog or take a nap. Just whatever you do, stop worrying, because the only cure for paranoia is to be here, just as you are.”

Walking Tall

If you go out and meet someone new, you’ll usually find an inviting, friendly smile on their face. If you start a conversation with them, you’ll get some basic information. What you won’t learn is what’s actually going on in their minds. The common misconception is that, if you become good friends with the person, they’ll tell you. People keep their secrets hidden by a smile, and lie in order to keep them. Sometimes they even lie to themselves, for they live in fear of its truth. There is no better example of this than Desperate Housewives. Back in season three, the deceased Rex Van de Kamp explains this to us, “My name is Rex Van De Kamp. I always hated cemeteries when I was alive. Now that I'm dead, I like 'em even less. Here's where I used to live; a whole lot nicer, don't you think? The place hasn't changed much since I left- as tasteful and tidy as ever. Everything perfect, at least on the surface. My family was the same way. Look at us. You'd never guess how ticked off we all were the day this was taken, but that was the thing about us Van De Kamps. To really fit in, you had to have a smile that gave away nothing.” This much is true for the every single character in the show, and also in each and every one of us. Think about it- what’s the one thing that makes you really angry, sad, or scared in your life? Are you ever going to admit it? Nope. See, there’s this little thing called pride, and we all have it, even if we think we have nothing to be proud of. If that’s the case, you should be proud of the fact that you’re still standing up. That little bit of pride is what keeps us from spilling all out secrets; it forces us to walk tall, because no matter how hard life can be, we don’t want people to know how hard it actually is. So we paste that smile on our faces in the hope of projecting the image of stability, both physical and emotional. We suck it up and move on. We put our pain on the back burner and save it for another time, when we are behind closed doors and can maintain our dignity. We hold our heads up high, because we’re too proud to admit that something isn’t right. In the face of disaster, we walk tall.