Rock Bottom

At some point in our lives, we’ve all wanted something, whether it be something we want, something we need, or something we think we need, but really don’t. But for whatever reason, that thing we want is unattainable. So you find yourself exploring every possible way of getting it, because you absolutely have to have it. When you hit rock bottom, it’s called desperation. You’ve decided that you need this so much that you’re willing to do anything for it. In the Grey’s Anatomy episode “Tainted Obligation,” Lexie, Thatcher, Cristina, Callie, and Izzie all experience this. Callie is so desperate to stay in Seattle that she begs the Chief for her job back, even when she doesn’t want to sink that low. Izzie is so desperate to see her patient live that she talks Owen into performing surgery with a very low survival rate. Cristina is so desperate to get back into the O.R. that Owen asks her, “Are you whoring yourself out for surgeries,” to which Cristina replies, “Oh, shut up. You forced me into it!” Thatcher experienced a different kind of desperation- addiction. The Chief had also experienced the painful desperation of alcoholism, and explains it to him. “You woke up every morning, and you promised yourself that last night would be your last drink. And you made it, till 9am or noon, some days till cocktail hour. And you were so pleased with yourself, that you rewarded yourself with a drink. You convinced yourself again, that it would be the only one. You have a disease, Thatcher. When you're in it, you can't stop. You can't undo what you did.” This kind of desperation can affect everyone around us, and it affects our health. Thatcher made himself sick; he brought his end-stage liver failure upon himself. So when he needed a transplant, and Lexie couldn’t give it to him, she became desperate. She went farther than she ever wanted to, and she asked Meredith for the transplant. “I didn't wanna do this. I didn't wanna have to come to you for anything, ever. So I thought if I looked up your blood type, and it was the wrong one, then that would be it. Then I could just stop thinking about it. But I can't, because you have his blood. And I know that he's not your dad, I know that he was never there for you. And, I would never ask you to give him anything. He doesn't deserve a thing from you. He doesn't. But he's- he's gonna die, Meredith. And, so I'm asking you to give something to me. I'm asking- I am asking you to give me my dad, because, as crappy as he was to you, he was wonderful to me. He never missed a single dance recital. He was there at my fifth grade graduation. What is that? It's not even real. I know he's not your dad, I, I know that. But somehow, you have his blood, and I don't. So I'm asking you, give me my dad.” For Lexie, she thought that was rock bottom, but it wasn’t. Later in the episode, she asks Dr. Bailey to lie to transplant service and tell them that Thatcher had been sober a year, so that he could get his liver transplant. This was rock bottom; this was asking someone to do something illegal. Unfortunately, at some point in our lives, we will all have experienced desperation to some degree. Hitting rock bottom isn’t the worst thing in the world, unless you don’t know how to come out it. The best we can hope for is that we somehow get what we need, so that we don’t become desperate. We should search every place and explore every option to get what we need, but be careful of rock bottom- it’s a dark place.